uncertainty

I really want to say something.

But I can't seem to write anything.

I lost my ability on writing something good.

It seems like my brain won't cooperate with my hands and heart.

I've been felling kind of dull lately, about everything.

I can't concentrate in my classes, I'm still waiting for the reply from two universities,

some family business, hating where I am now, don't fit in this town and some other things..

Is it self loathe? Is it uncertainty?

Is it something else?

I am scared,

I am terrified,

and it's not for nothing.

...

...

...

I wanna be ok.

Maybe I should stop mocking others?

then maybe I would have more friends here and fit more in this town.

Maybe I should stop acting so self-righteously?

then maybe I would start listening to what others are saying

Maybe I should start doing something more productive

then everything would start to look better..

Maybe I should pray more?

and really mean it.

Maybe I should start saying things I really feel!

to you, to the teachers, start answering the questions when i know the answer.

Maybe I should listen more..

Maybe I should stop bragging.